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1. Don’t present your own or anyone else’s opinion as fact. Instead of saying “this is how it’s,” say “I see it as ...,” “in my view, it’s ...,” etc.
2. Treat the child as an equal in every way, not as someone beneath you. No matter how old they are, the main person in their life is them, not someone else (exceptions: points 5–6). Therefore, there is no punishment, condemnation, evaluation outside of personal opinion; guilt, morality, discipline, truth, ideas of right / wrong, mistakes, or fabrications (such as stories about Santa Claus), etc. The child also chooses for themselves whether to be religious or not, and which religion to follow.
3. Explain why the principle of personal reality benefits them and repeat it: only you decide what something is to you and what it means to you. With one condition: your actions must not violate your own boundaries or those of others.
4. Try to give the child as much attention as they need.
5. Keep track of the child’s condition based on general health and safety guidelines. But if they say they are full or that they are hot / cold, etc., listen to them and watch for changes in how they feel.
6. Over time, explain them the basics of routine: how to cook, clean up, take care of their body (hygiene, exercise, health); and also what can kill or injure them (fire, knives, strangers, etc.).
With this kind of upbringing, a person still gets just as much information from society as usual. At the same time, they retain the ability to live their own life instead of seeing the world through imposed categories.
As a result:
- the person has no self-sabotage (they are not afraid of “making a mistake,” being “unaccepted,” etc.);
- they understand themselves as well as possible = make the most beneficial choices;
- they respect their own boundaries and those of others (they don’t judge others, don’t waste time and energy imposing their views, etc.);
- etc.
2. Treat the child as an equal in every way, not as someone beneath you. No matter how old they are, the main person in their life is them, not someone else (exceptions: points 5–6). Therefore, there is no punishment, condemnation, evaluation outside of personal opinion; guilt, morality, discipline, truth, ideas of right / wrong, mistakes, or fabrications (such as stories about Santa Claus), etc. The child also chooses for themselves whether to be religious or not, and which religion to follow.
3. Explain why the principle of personal reality benefits them and repeat it: only you decide what something is to you and what it means to you. With one condition: your actions must not violate your own boundaries or those of others.
4. Try to give the child as much attention as they need.
5. Keep track of the child’s condition based on general health and safety guidelines. But if they say they are full or that they are hot / cold, etc., listen to them and watch for changes in how they feel.
6. Over time, explain them the basics of routine: how to cook, clean up, take care of their body (hygiene, exercise, health); and also what can kill or injure them (fire, knives, strangers, etc.).
With this kind of upbringing, a person still gets just as much information from society as usual. At the same time, they retain the ability to live their own life instead of seeing the world through imposed categories.
As a result:
- the person has no self-sabotage (they are not afraid of “making a mistake,” being “unaccepted,” etc.);
- they understand themselves as well as possible = make the most beneficial choices;
- they respect their own boundaries and those of others (they don’t judge others, don’t waste time and energy imposing their views, etc.);
- etc.